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A decent girl from Penang Based in Kuala Lumpur I am a dreamer ✈ Flying is my passion ✈ Quote Adverts
| Confession #101
I just started my new semester few days ago after my Paris trip. It's gonna be a busy semester after all as it is a long semester with 7 subjects registered. After being away for almost two months abandoning this little space of mine, today i decided to post an entry and it is about a confession i want to made on certain individuals. Nobody said it was easy Let's start off with this bunch of friends i made during my first year in university. To be honest, the first time of having them as friends was quite a tough one for me because after going through the awful things with my ex best friends i learned to be anymore close and protect myself from being harmed. What i actually told them about my past was the truth from me but it is up to you to believe me or not. I've never asked anyone to trust on my side of stories because if you really know me well enough, you will soon notice what sort of person i am. I can be very nasty at times and i can be very nice too. It depends on how i am being treated. With a whole heart or with a motif. And, unpleasant things happened with the friendship. Yes, i might be irritated with some of the friends in the group and yes, i admitted i posted nasty things about you on Twitter. Do you ever know why i did that? Do you ever wonder? Do you ever try to understand? Part of it was my fault, because i shouldnt be posting nasty things to hurt your feelings but do you know the feeling of being abandoned after a trip with the group of friends which you claimed to be best friends in university? That's far most awful than things i said on Twitter. I can be brainless for not taking care of your feeling but the question is, have you taken care of mine? I told you that, it quite difficult for me to get close with anyone at the moment. Everyone has been tolerating, and have i not? After being yelled in the middle of the lecture hall claiming I am stupid and fuck you? I gulped down and forgave. Nevertheless, I dont regret of losing this group of friends claiming that they look upon this friendship. Honestly, i dont. Because if you do, you will never do that to me. I dont find it offensive anymore reading your blog because afterall you have your own thoughts and i have mine. It is your space and your blog. Well, i no longer hate you because to hate a person it is tiring. Next person, the person i used to love and care for. Dear Scott, Well things went outta hand and things went wrong. No one to be blamed for the end of the relationship. At first, I am angry but after a period of time i settled down and think of what actually went wrong. It is not you or me. Just we aren't meant to be together as a couple. We all have different thoughts. I am sorry for not replying the message where i said we shall remain this friendship after the relationship ended as it is priceless to have someone who we can talk whatever shit with. Like you said, it is a waste to lose such friendship. To be honest, it quite a challenge for me not to reply you because i really want us to remain as friends or maybe best friends but I need sometimes to chill and cool down and also to get rid of the feelings. The only thing i can do was to stay away from you and hate you with all my guts. Well i did hate you for quite sometime. Finally, i can put it down. The chapter ended. But now, i no longer hate you anymore. Just taking you as a friend i met online and friend who shared common things with. That's all. Well, maybe you're mad at me or hate me but it's all right. I was to be blame for being rude. I am sorry. To my bunch of beautiful ladies, (Yao Yi, Ann, Jia Min and Dora) I am really glad to have you all around me. Been through ups and downs with. You girls were there when i need someone to talk to the most. Angry of some particular person on my behalf. You girls are awesome. The feelings you all gave me was different from any ex-best friends. The way you all treated me. Honest. Even though, there might be some arguments on things and different views on different things, after all we still remains close. Thank you so much for all the things you girls had done for me. And, I am sorry for being nasty sometimes. I dont mean to hurt anyone of you. I hope this friendship continues till we are old. I love all of you. Labels: Confession, Friendships, Girlfriends, University  |  |
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