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A decent girl from Penang Based in Kuala Lumpur I am a dreamer ✈ Flying is my passion ✈ Quote Adverts
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The stories behind of every bad habits.Secondary 2 I have a bunch of good friends where we use to go to everywhere together. There is this time, i get close to this Indian girl. Her name was Roshini. Was really close to her that we shared most of the stories together. Everyone was so nice and we shared all the fun moments together. One weekend, all of us decided to go over Auto-City to have some fun that we tried some alcoholic drinks and she was drunk after a few glass and i was tipsy. Talking nonsense. She was all drunk and we bump into some seniors and the next day those seniors spread the news all over the school that she was so drunk that she talk nonsense. I swear that i didnt say anything about her because for me it is normal to get drunk and be a bit crazy in public. Arguments started because she said i am the one spreading rumours to everyone in school that she is drunk. Most of the seniors and half of the class was there to witnessed. And, instead of find out the truth she accused me for being the one who spreads it. One by one left me and i have no clue at all. I didnt talk behind anyone. Especially Yoong Sze, i honestly didnt talk behind your back until you done all those bad stuff upon me. From that day onwards, i lost some friends and was push off shore to survive without friends. Upper 6-Graduation I thought i was blessed with a very best friend again because she is also being ditched by her 11 years best friend. So, we gone through everything together and i trusted her. She was studying in KL and I was studying in Penang. So everytime when she is back in hometown, i will go out with her. Asking her wanna go where. I even drove her all the way to Penang just for shopping because i take this friendship seriously that i dont wanna lose such a great friend. When time passed by, everytime i asked her to fetch me or kind enough to bring me out for shopping when i am lazy to drive, she will definitely give me tonnes of excuses. When they have car they never bother wanna use their car. Another of my friend's parents even said that use her car la then you can save on petrol. On the first semester when i entered uni, we were still so close and even hang out once. I still remembered clearly that i told her to wait for me to watch Harry Potter together and she said yes. So, she promised. Was waiting for everyone to be free to watch together. She didnt even bother to tell me that she had already watched with her friends in uni. I was so sad because she waited till i asked her. I was so mad and she didnt even bother to apologize instead she said " Go and watch with your KL friends la". And then i just keep quiet. I was so sad and mad that i removed her and another friend from my Facebook and unfollowed them from Twitter. They dont even feel bad and they didnt even come and said sorry or ask why. Best of all during Chinese New Year this year, they went for a gathering and was gossiping about me. This is what i heard from another friend. This girl called Amanda, said that she was having exam and couldnt watch with me. Aiya, still cant watch again ma. I know still can watch again. Even if you wanna watch more than 10 times. But you promised and you broke it and then act like nothing. She promised earlier that she can but suddenly this year she said that time she having exam. What kind of excuse was that? Definitely you know when is your exam. There is an academic calender for every university/college even the cheapskate one. You went and promised me and suddenly Beginning of this year you said you are having exam then you couldnt watch. You didnt even explain when i was mad at you and you still can go on saying that "Go watch with your KL friends." Who wont feel hurt i ask anyone of you who read this. Especially to the best friend that you shared most of your stories with for 2years plus. These are the reasons why am i being so protective over myself. I can be very nice to you. It just need time for me to assure that you worth for me to treat you nice. Because of all the problems i faced, i am really traumatised. I used to be very sociable but when i faced something like that i became scared. They started spreading bad things about me. Until to the next school when i didnt do anything wrong. I had another friend who used to be very close as well, her name is Yen Nee. Was so closed that we went to each other's place. She even came to my house for overnight and we shared everything. And came this Indian girl, and this chinese girl doesnt even care because she is afraid that she will lose her popularity. The gang i was once with was the gang that is so popular in the whole BM town. Ask any school from BM, they will know who they are. Because of fame and popularity i was kicked aside. Was judged when i didnt even bother to say a word about that girl being drunk. I can be considerate just that i cant trust someone so easily because of what i experienced. Friend is a gift and it brings happiness. I even fought with my grandma because there is once she said i look up on friends more than family. I care for them more than my family and my grandma was so angry because everything i done is because of them. Even when i am choosing between art/science stream. I dont even mind fetching them to Penang when she is back and i dont even ask for money to pay toll and petrol. I still gotta fork out my own money to pay. And even the car park. I didnt say a thing at all. I paid. She saw i paid a large amount and she didnt even bother to help me to pay half. I was just a student back then and even now. Why cant anyone understand me that i am going through all these and think at my side? I still gotta lend some money from her to pay for my own food when she know i paid everything for the toll and etc. I still have to pay her back for godsake. When she went out, did she bother to ask me out as well? Anyone bother? Leo was my ex and now we are best friend and couldnt go on to relationship because he wants to focus more on studies. We fought more than everyone could ever imagine. Why he still never leave me when i threw tantrum and stuff? Cut out the one he still loves me. Another thing was he understands me. We have been ups and downs for the past 3 years. We even argue till we didnt talk to each other for more than 4months. I can be really nice to people but i lose confident after each and everytime i am being used. I look up on friendship more than family and even my boyfriend. I listened to them and let them critize and never said a word to fight back because i knew they hated him so much but i have no idea why. Friends are like part of my life. It blends in my blood but i was crushed. Bloods was sucked. I dare not go beyond close friends. I started staying in no true friends world until someone i just knew told me that friends are not for benefit and there are true friends. I was searching. I am afraid that i make the wrong choice again. I was very careful. I knew you done your best to prove it to me. I have seen all that but again i felt terror in me. Until a certain part in life, you have proven to me that not all are like that. When i actually started to believe it, i lose it again. Sorry for those bad habits, i just need time to change. I cant just change in a year. Even trusting you all, i took more than half year to realise to feel the moment of friendship. I guess, if you really wanna end this friendship, i have no word to say. Besides, i am really sorry for causing so much pain. Labels: Life  |  |
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