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A decent girl from Penang Based in Kuala Lumpur I am a dreamer ✈ Flying is my passion ✈ Quote Adverts
| A change
After the whole night of thoughts, yes i found out what is wrong, not all but at least i got the clue.Maybe i dont take them as a real friends, i seriously dont know. Maybe part of it yes because i care sometimes. I am really grateful to have such good friends but i didnt appreciate the value of friendship they mean. I guess i am a really an ass hole to everyone which bring pain to everyone. I just dont know. I dont want that kinda attitude as well. Without knowing how bad the disease was, how am i gonna treat myself? I left clueless again. I always said i wanna change deep down in my heart. But everytime i just couldnt control myself on words. I said but i have no bad intention at all and i regretted after every word i said to hurt people. I felt it but i was over pride. I dont wanna lose face. Everytime after each things i said that i hurt most of you, i felt really bad. Just that i didnt show. It is not that i dont wanna change. It is difficult. But i will try to prove i can. I change it not all about friendship but myself as well. Looking back on Twitter on what i wrote, yeah I am kinda mean. But I regretted because i am using that way to provoke all of you to speak out the truth. Maybe it is the wrong method i use. I apologise for that. I may be living in my own world fearing most of you have a motive against me. I used to think that way but i soon realised that i was wrong and i changed my mindset. I am over protective and sensitive. Being straight forward is not everyone could accept. I am sorry/ I used to be like that and non show me the bad attitude and until all of you do. I appreciate that. I dont blame or hope because all of you have already hated me for what have i done to make so much pain in all of your life. Sorry that i make this one year horrible. I texted and try sending message through Facebook as well, none of you wanna reply but i dont lose hope. I treasure all of you. I apologise though it cant help but this is what i could do beside changing. I have done what i could. Twitter and Facebook was the main problem i wrote nasty things. So, i decided to deactivated all of it. Not because of you all but maybe this is a way to control myself from posting stuff that is such a pain in the ass. I am such a worst person that i sometimes dont wanna see myself either. I knew that you are helping me alot. I didnt forget and i did thank you before or maybe you cant remember, it is okay. But i still wanna thank you for doing so much things for me. Thanks alot. My life wouldnt be so fun without you girls. Too bad that i took the wrong step. Sorry for being so rude and inconsiderate. If you still take me as a close friend, i hope you all can be the lights to guide me out from the evil cave where i couldnt see myself clearly anymore. I was blinded with all the bad attitudes. For now, take care :) Labels: Life  |  |
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